Umpiring: Hazards of the trade

A list of the places I've been hit by a thrown, bounced, or batted baseball in the last six weeks:

1.) left hand

2.) Left shoulder

3.) Left collarbone

4.) Right calf

5.) Twice-- forehead (with a mask on)

Names and phrases, other than my given birth name, referred toward me in those same six weeks:

1.) "Wake up, blue!"

2.) Good for nothing

3.) Blind.

4.) Worthless